Monday, October 25, 2010

Phase I Scheduled

I was finally able to get in contact with the scheduler for Texas Medical Center's EMU (Epilepsy Monitoring Unit). She was on vacation last week and JUST returned today. She had to search for Jace's paperwork that was left on her desk while she was away. She finally found it and scheduled us to check in Tuesday, December 7th at 7:30am.

Here is a video explaining what the EMU actually is. They are much more relaxed than the typical inpatient rooms for a hospital stay. They allow visitors of any age since there are no sick patients there and they actually take care of the caregivers/parents that stay with the children.


Phase I Evaluation for this Epilepsy Surgery is on average 3-5 days. However it can be shorter or longer....it all depends on when the doctors get enough information to be satisfied with their findings.
Phase I will consists of a continuous vEEG (video EEG) and possibly decreasing or removing medications so that seizures can occur and be seen on the EEG. Along with a continuous vEEG, they will do a MRI and a MEG scan. The MRI will be able to show the white matter of the brain that is developed and will show contrast of the normal to the abnormal areas. Since Jace is still young he does not have all of his white matter developed just yet so not everything will show. The MEG (Magnetoencephalography) helps to measure epileptic activity and where in the brain it is originating from. This is much more thorough than putting together an EEG and the MRI. This will combine a picture of the brain and the activity occurring simultaneously - hopefully showing a focal point of the seizure activity. This will also show much more closely the healthy areas of the brain and where the activity of that is originating so that later for surgery that area is not affected.
This is much easier when the patients are older but with Jace he can't possible answer questions and respond to stimuli while hooked up. The MEG could possibly show if there are seizure occurring form areas of the brain that the regular MRI may not show yet.
 Jace is not old enough for the neuropsychiatric testing so we get a free pass on that one! Depending on what the doctors need to get all the information they need there may be more test.

Jace's mood and personality is just blooming everyday! I am REALLY enjoying it! He is giving kisses like crazy, smiling and laughing - all of which absolutely melts my heart!! I will have to catch a video of him kissing....its so sweet!

For the past week Jace has been waking up in the middle of the night often and screaming. It seems to be a combination of his last 2 teeth making their way through and the start of dreaming? From what I understand dreams start around this age so I am guessing this random night waking is normal. I am not sure but I can attest that the newborn stage prepares you for the possibility of sleepless nights in the future. Those babies train the parents in the beginning! LOL
This is a phase! This too shall pass!

I want to add a cute video I found about being a mother

Things Are Getting Better But...

Things are getting better but we are not seizure free.
I thought we were but we started seeing staring spells. They look just like his head drops just without him actually having the head drops. Poor guy gets this spacey wide teary eyed stare.
Even though we are not seizure free I can say that the Sabril is helping.

Friday was Jace's 15 month check up. He is getting SO big! He weighs 26 lbs and is 291/2 inches tall.
Short and wide! Its so funny how at the beginning of Jace's life were all so worried about how small he was and to see him now you would have a hard time believing he use to have skinny legs.
Poor guy had to get 2 shots but he is a little trooper and only cried for 30 seconds max!
All in all he seems to be doing well and the doctor was pleased. I mentioned my concern about his speech and he basically said that at this age its hard to tell if there is a delay and boys speak later than girls anyway.
(Today at the grocery store he told JB bye -bye which was a first so I think he is going to be ok)

Jace has a few more firsts that occurred recently and I have to give credit to Sabril helping our sweet baby boy come back to life!
He's walking well through grass, he tried to hug his friend Keely, and my favorite - he is giving KISSES!
Saturday morning we woke up and I was showing him a picture of JB and he leaned in and kissed my phone. I wanted to see if he was really kissing so I showed him a picture of himself and he just looked at it. Went back to JB's picture and he kissed it. I turned off the phone and he gave me kisses!
WE ARE LOVE LOVE LOVING THIS!
Its also funny how he won't kiss you if he is aggravated with you or not too.
Tonight Jace got mad when I was putting his diaper on after bath. He gave JB kisses when he asked but when I asked he ignored me! LOL What a little toot!

This past weekend we finally got to go to a pumpkin patch. It was poor timing on our part though.
Jace was ready for his morning nap and by the time we got there he was pooped. All morning he had been in a GREAT mood - smiling, laughing, KISSING, and playing.
We bought a pumpkin to carve and got pictures the best we could before our battery on the camera went dead. I think Jace will really enjoy this place in a year or two....he was still too young this year.
Swinging at the Patch
Handsome man and scarecrows

Mommy and Daddy's Little Pumpkin

Deep in Thought

When we got home we started carving the pumpkin. Since this was a first for all three of us we just went with a simple Jack-O-Lantern style face - smiling of course.
I think we did a pretty good job for it being out first time.
Jace wasn't really digging the nasty pulp inside the pumpkin but I had to let him experience it.
The Bryan Family Jack-o-Lantern

Just close it up and its good to go!

JB's dad had a little get together for our birthdays on Saturday night.
He made some steaks, baked potatoes, salad and best of all - homemade ice cream! YUM!
We had some of our closest friends there and all of their kids!
We are so blessed to have such great family and friends!
We really enjoyed spending the evening with them and watching all the kids play.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Seizure Free Day: 1

Now that today is over with I can officially it's 
SEIZURE FREE DAY: 1


What a blessing!!!
Its so refreshing to be counting seizure free days rather than number of episodes, number of head drops in an episode and timing the length. Those are number I pray are in the past FOREVER!

After starting Jace on his Sabril Monday night we had high expectations for the seizures to be done and over with! Our high hopes were crushed when he still had 5 episodes on Tuesday.......but to go from that to absolutely NO episodes today is great! PTL!!!!!

*HAPPY DANCE*

I was ecstatic to hear from my mom in the morning that Jace hadn't had a seizure upon waking up like he always does. Then checking in through out the day we were only getting great news! No episodes while playing, none while trying to fall asleep for his nap, none while waking up from his nap.......NONE!  
Justin and I came home after picking up a bed for our guest room (long overdue) and took over the nightly duties with Jace. It was so uplifting to play with our baby boy and not have to see him deal with that nasty seizure monster.  


I went on line and got an application for the Texas Scottish Rite Hospital and it looks pretty straight forward on what needs to be done. I have read so many great things about TSRH and I hope to have Jace treated there as well! While looking around on TSRH info I came across more info that a friend told me about with getting assistance for medical costs. JB and I are in the process of looking into this. Don't get me wrong - we are very blessed to have insurance and the ability to pay for some medical expenses but at the rate we are going we will end up drowning. Any little helps - Its outrageous the cost of health care in our county! Its so sad that some children don't get quality care because its not affordable or they do not know where to turn to get the assistance they need.

On a normal note...After got Jace down for bed, my mom watched Jace while JB and I went to go see the newest addition to the Bryan Clan! Conley Wilson Bryan - Born at 3:15 pm 6lbs 2oz and 18 1/2 in and he shares his birthday with JB! I think Conley has already made up his mind - Uncle Justin is his FAVORITE! :) He is so precious and looks SO much like his brother Lincoln!
Congrats Kristen, Nathan, Grant, and Lincoln!

Jace has officially switch teams....it was Team Mom for about 14 months.
Then he started to kind of play both sides and now his is 100% Team Daddy

I finally know how JB felt all those months that it was all momma, momma, momma.
Jace didn't even want me putting him to bed last night :(
Oh its so sad! *sob*
I know I will end up being his best friend again - I just have to wait a while.

Jace's 2 new things are:
1.) Telling us "no" by shaking his head. Well remember how I said we would take ANYTHING from a syringe.....its not without shaking his head No now! LOL
I know it is important for "toddlers" (he is still a baby - I can't say toddler just yet) to say no and all that but when it comes to his medicine that is VERY important he can't win that battle!
Even still, JB and I think its so cute and funny! He likes to tell us "No" a lot!
2.) Stomping his feet. He looks like the penguin in Happy Feet! He stomps when JB and I get home and smile SO big! Its too cute! My mom also works with him doing "If you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet" so he must be happy when we get home. Jace has been stomping his feet for a while but it was always random before.

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction.- Psalm 107:19-20

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Only 3 more years to 30 - Happy Birthday Justin!



Happy Birthday to my Sweets!

27 years ago on this day God brought my best friend and soul mate into the world!
JB is the best thing that has happened to me!
He is an incredible husband, daddy, and man.
Without his strong supportive nature I would be lost!
He lifts me up and helps me be a better wife and mother.
Thank you for being the leader and man of our home!

I love you and can't wait to celebrate many more birthdays with you!

Monday, October 18, 2010

And It Starts

The Sabril (vigabatrin) was finally delivered around lunch time so we started it tonight.
They sent us the first month starter kit!

Yep - the first month was free!! While that's GREAT its also scary that they didn't give us an estimate of how much it will cost AFTER this first month!


The flavor must not be very appealing. Jace has never had issues taking something from a syringe but this time he actually hesitated. It looks like we will have to use some diluted juice for mixing the powder.
Jace last episode tonight was at 6:05 and I pray that will be his last FOREVER! And counting the seizure free days starts in 3....2...1...

Jace still seems to be cranky at times; he is battling a cold and cutting his last 2 teeth before the nasty 2 year molars. But, when I got home yesterday he was in a great mood. I was greeted with the BIGGEST cheesy smile that just melts my heart! Jace is such a sweetheart!
Now that he is staying at home with my mom during the days I don't have to wake him up in the mornings so I miss out on that little bit of extra time with him. I miss it BUT I am very glad that he is getting the sleep his little body needs and he is being monitored one on one - much more closely than being in a class.
I know how much he loves daycare and being with his friends - once the seizures are under control he will go back. But for now he will get to snuggle up with Grandma everyday! :)


 
Its an unfortunate blessing to meet others that are going through similar situations with their children. However, it is very reassuring to see the families doing quite well and appearing to be happy! I love the fact that I have people to turn and talk to that have been there done that or are walking the same path as Justin and I. Having someone to truly relate to really helps!

I was contacted by a friend this past weekend about the Texas Scottish Rite Hospital in Dallas. She was telling me how I could get Jace's tests and such done at no charge! I am currently looking into all of this but if all we had to do was drive to Dallas for his TSC check ups we could save so much! He will have to go in at least every 6 months for checks up while he is young. He may even have to start out going every 3 months and that can become financially burdening depending on what tests they want to run.
I will continue to update as I find out more about this blessing!

Jesus, Bring the Rain

I have not really had the chance to update recently
but I jumped on here to share a song that really tugs at my heart!
I LOVE worship music - actually I love music in general!
This is one of my all time FAVORITES!





I can count a million times

People asking me how I

Can praise You with all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly

Change who I forever am in You


Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord

My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray



Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain



I am Yours regardless of

The dark clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray



Holy, holy, holy

Is the Lord God Almighty

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Pharmacy Pain

So when we were discharged they gave us the prescription for Banzel. Dr. Hall even called our pharmacy to check and see that they has at least SOME in stock. Since I didn't know what time we would be discharged I had them call the 24 hour location by work. Once we were discharged and we got over to the pharmacy it was about 8pm. I brought in the Rx to get it filled (or at least partially filled). The Rx read Banzel 250mg BID PO (1 1/4 tabs by mouth twice a day). So logically if the Rx says 1 1/4 pills then of course the strength of the pill would be 200 mg pills. The lady at the counter looked at the first part only that says Banzel 250mg and jumped in and told me immediately that they would have to call the doctor and verify the strength. Well I made sure to let her know we have just been discharged from the hospital after 8 days, my 14 month old son was with me still and I live 40 minutes away from the pharmacy. She didn't care at all and proceeded to tell me again that she had to call the hospital. I still don't know why they couldn't have just read the Rx since it was put into context what they wanted to prescribe. Grrrr.....AND then they acted like they didn't have a number to the Children's Memorial Hermann. C'mon, a pharmacy doesn't have local hospital numbers listed there for situations like this? Its times like this that I am thankful I have an iPhone. The lady said she had the doctor paged and didn't know how long it would take for them to get back to her.
I called the hospital pharmacy, nurses desk, etc all myself trying to see if that doctor was even still on call and would be able to return the pharmacy's call. After all this I decided I would just call the pharmacy back and ask why they couldn't just read the Rx and see how its explained. When I called they said the doctors JUST called back and they would have it ready in a few minutes. I was so happy that I didn't have to bring Jace home then go BACK to the pharmacy that night. I wish hospitals would send you home with a day's worth of the medication the put you on as to avoid all this hassle. And I think if there are strict ways that a prescriptions should be written out the the doctors need to maybe pass a test over that subject with a 100 before being allowed to hand out prescriptions. Finally we made it home around 9:20-9:30 pm!


I took today off work to catch my breath and relax. There really was no relaxing until Jace's nap time.
This is how Jace was acting during lunch - he was hungry and tired!
He for sure has his daddy's temper! LOL

Ahhhh....Refreshed!

It was so great to sleep in my own bed last night next to my love and I am sure when Jace wakes up he will be feeling the same way - refreshed! He is stirring right now but he needs to sleep a little longer :) 

Yesterday we met with the neurologists in the morning and they didn't have the official EEG report as of yet. One of the fellows said she would meet with me later to discuss it.  

The Neurological fellow came back after lunch time with the official EEG report. They said the EEGdid show that there was not much change but it was still better than the 23 hour vEEG on the 29th that showed him in status epilepticus. This shows us that the Banzel is helping but not completely doing the trick. JB and I have decided to start Jace on the vigabitrin and eventually remove the Banzel. I was given a huge starter packet for the Sabril (vigabitrin), complete with waivers to sign and all. The waivers basically were saying that we know about the potential vision loss which is permanent also that we agree to give him this medication in such a way that the doctors say to. It will take about 2 days to receive the vigabitrin in the mail. This is not a drug you can just go pick up from any pharmacy so a speciality pharmacy ships it to you. We will be considered in the evaluation phase for about 3 months. Once we know if it is working then we enter the maintenance phase - we will worry about this later. Our short time goal is to see improvement with the addition of Sabril to the Banzel. We should see an improvement in 2-4 weeks! I am so excited to see Jace back to his old self again. I am thanking God already that Jace will come out of this with no ill effects. He will be caught up and back on track with his development for his age in no time flat!
We will follow up with the TSC clinic again in November where we will also follow up with this neurology fellow. She does not have a practice yet but she can see patients. We will eventually see Dr. Butler who is the head of pedi neuro at Children's Memorial Hermann. It will take time to get in to see him so in the mean time Dr. Hall (the fellow) agreed to follow up with us. We like her and still may stay with her. She is not afraid to convene with other doctors to get ideas and other suggestions on whats going on with Jace.
We are also going to be seeing an epileptologist eventually. Dr.Hall said thats pretty much inevitable. The epileptologist is currently not taking new patients right this moment. This is ok since what we need to do with her is not going to start until December. We will be going to go back to the EMU (eplipesy monitoring unit) for Phase I of the epilepsy surgery. In Phase 1 they record the seizures with a continuous vEEG. It is during this initial phase that the seizures are identified and the specific area where the seizures are starting (seizure onset) is tentatively localized (if possible). With Jace I am pretty certain that he IS having localized or focal seizures but since they have progressed they are starting to do a secondary generalization. This means that they start off in once spot but then spread to the entire brain. To complete this phase the epileptologist will wean Jace off his currents meds just a little bit so that we can record and see seizures.
You can follow this link to learn more about this type of surgery:
http://www.tsalliance.org/pages.aspx?content=586
Even if the Sabril seems to work Dr. Hall said we should still do Phase I and get a focal point pinpointed.
She also pointed out that since Jace is young then the seizures presentation, type and how to control it will change. His brain is developing in overdrive right now. Human brains are 90% myelinated by the age of 3. Usually after the age of 3 the seizure types and presentation become "static" and easier to figure out from there on out.

Well it looks like Jace is waking up so I should go get breakfast started for him - I am sure he is HUNGRY! :) He has been eating very well in the hospital! HA! If I left anything out I will come back and and it later. I must go and be mommy. :)

Quick note: Now that I am home and posting I will attempt to keep my grammar and spelling corrected. The last posts were terrible. It is not my style at all to post something that has bad grammar/spelling.....or the unforgivable exchanging of words such as here for hear. SMH - I must have been in a rush! LOL

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Going HOME!!

So we are getting discharged tonight. This will be a short post as Jace is awake and not really cooperating with me posting LOL

I just wanted to update saying we get to go HOME!! I am taking tomorrow off to catch my breath but going back to work on Thursday. We have a plan that we are going to start on - beginning with getting out of this hospital! I can't wait to get Jace home to HIS bed with HIS toys in HIS home!

I will post later on - probably once Jace is in bed!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Guilt Stricken......Not Anymore!!

Jace had 4 episodes today - that we "saw" ( that will be explained below). He woke up in such a great mood - was ALL smiles and so much fun. The neurologist didn't come around after the EEG but will be seeing us tomorrow morning bright and EARLY! I am curious to see what it is that they suggest from here.

It has been another rough day with emotions....I am holding together pretty well though. I almost lost it when Jace was getting his EEG done. I was REALLY expecting good results since he woke up with nothing but smiles this morning. The EEG tech was asking me when he was hooked up what he was doing (she was sitting at the computer for the EEG) and I said he was not doing anything because he wasn't - just lying there. She said he was showing a lot of seizure activity. It break my heart to know that our sweet baby boy is sitting there seizing at times and we don't even know at all!! I wonder what he thinks about it - does he have any feeling about it and the fact that we can't fix it? Its stuff like this that crosses my mind and I can't help but break down. I pray he is not wondering "why isn't mommy or daddy making me feel better?" 

I am so guilt stricken.....I try not to be but it is so hard to know that I am the one that carried this gene on to Jace. It is all my fault that he is struggling with this. It wasn't some random mutation and we hit the bad side of the reproduction lottery. No this was a 50/50 chance of him getting it. I didn't know it was THAT prominent when we planned for a family. I also didn't know how terrible TSC could be. The only thing I knew of the disorder what what we had in my family and that it was a rare disorder. Why I never thought to do medical research on it before starting a family....I don't know?

In my faith I know I should not feel guilty, anxious or depressed about any of this. However, I am only human so it is to be expected. I just need to keep trying to cling to God. I honestly have really been struggling with this lately. I don't know why, now, when our son is being affected by something terrible  that I can't seem to cling to the only TRUE GOOD in life? I know God is here just waiting for me to finally quit flailing around trying not to drown. I know there is purpose behind this but I don't know what and that is where I get in trouble. Is it really normal to feel this way in times like this? Shouldn't I be like the other faithful Christians and KNOW God has a purpose and a hand in all of this? Shouldn't my faith be getting stronger with each passing day of bad news and continued seizures?
I apologize, I am taking this moment to vent out my current and pretty personal feelings. I almost feel silly exposing all these feelings out there but to be honest I have always been one to keep my feelings to myself - it feels good to let them out for the whole world to read if they wanted. It make my feelings feel real.....and well I feel less alone with my feelings.

Scratch all that - I left what I wrote above only because I wanted to prove that God IS in all of this. I was feeling all the guilt stricken shame and was getting VERY down about it when I received a call from JB's Aunt Pam in the middle of typing this post! Her call was not from her at all - it was all God's work there! She called to pray for Jace and to pray for JB and me. Most of all it was a reminder from God that He is here and of how evil satan can be. It is satan causing all my guilt and all my grief. It is satan's evil work that is no longer allowed here! From this point forward I have to constantly claim that God is healing Jace and has healed me. I have failed witnessing my miracle that I know God will do a miracle with Jace in order to have all the glory for His kingdom!
I am in awe! God knew I needed to here what He had to say through Pam.

Pam - thank you so much for calling and giving my faith a swift kick in the rear. We love you!
I am no longer going to try to be strong for everyone - I need to realize that I am allowed to feel through this too. So, I end with saying that I am clinging to God through this. He will hold me when I cry, He will be there healing Jace and He will be glorified all through this journey. This is a lifelong journey and God is the only one invited!

I am headed to bed - I have an early morning tomorrow to talk with the neurologist.

Good night and God Bless!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Lets Put Our Brains Together and Support Brain Research

I thought today was going to be bad but Jace ended up only having 4 episodes today. It's not perfect but it beats 9-11 episodes. I pray that tomorrow he wakes up with no episodes and continues forever without any! What a blessing that would be huh?
Speaking of blessings, Seizure Tracker has been nothing but amazing in this journey! I am able to get on my phone and update Jace's tracker when he has an episode. Its simple and WAY easy to use.
The website was designed by parent's that had a TSC child and they made a short movie about it, which won awards at the 2010 Neuro Film Festival. Here is the video if you would like to see and lets put our brains together and support brain research:



Tomorrow is the routine EEG that we hope will be better than the last. Oh and we learned that the EEG on Thursday was worse then the EEG on Tuesday. Grrrr......that's ok though - ultimately it was better than the 23 hour one on Aug. 29th.
I have been kind of researching and asking other TSC parents what they thought about the surgery, the surgeon that is here in Houston or traveling out of state to get THE best. I know it is not something we are for sure going to do but I would rather be prepared than to be caught off guard with the decision of going on with a brain surgery. I mean it takes extreme faith in a person's career to put the life of your child in their hands! I am probably getting way ahead of  myself with this.

Jace stopped with his crankiness around dinner time. He started to talk and talk and talk all through dinner! LOL it was so nice to hear him just talking up a storm to his spaghetti. He was also probably happy that they removed the IV site from his arm. They put it in in case they had to give him emergency meds for a seizure lasting longer than 5 mins. We never used it and never had a seizure CLOSE to 5 minutes they agreed to take it out since it was leaking at the insertion site. There is another one we can use rectally if he did need an emergency medication. They also said during the day we could take him off the heart rate, respiratory rate and O2 monitors. We will spot check him and only leave him hooked up at night. Woohoo! This means feeling less guilty about taking him off the machine to go play and no more getting tangled up in wires! That can put anyone in a bad mood!

I went and got out of the hospital today for about 3 hours. JB and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the Texans game and eat lunch with Nathan, Kristen and Stinkin' Lincoln! :)
It was nice to get out, enjoy the nice weather and not think about medical stuff for a few hours. My mom stayed at the hospital with Jace when we went. A BIG thanks to her! She has done above and beyond to help us out! After eating JB was headed home so I had him drop me off at the Starbucks down the street from the hospital. I got myself a nice caffeinated beverage and walked back to the hospital. I LOVE this weather. Its incredible. The two weeks we have the BEST weather of the year and we are stuck inside a hospital?!?! Boo! And we were suppose to go to a pumpkin patch today.....maybe we can go in a few weeks. Jace's chunky butt would just look so cute next to a big fat pumpkin!

Well, I am about to lay my head down and get some rest - Jace went to bed at a normal time so I am sure he won't be sleeping in tomorrow!
I have to add really quick that he has done AMAZING here! He sleeps pretty well, tolerates all the poking and prodding, and still seems like a happy baby boy! I am so glad he will never remember this!
Good night!

Mr. Cranky Pants

Yesterday Jace finished off the day with 8 episodes! Not an improvement at all. The neuro team was aware of this and we are hoping to see an improvement with this last increase of Banzel. Right now JB and I have little faith in this drug. So far this morning he has had 2 episodes and a few times he had some staring spells - we are not sure yet if those are seizures or not.

We broke the rules a bit last night - Jace hadnt really be outside all week. We strolled around the hospital and decided to go check out Memorial Hermann Park across the street! JB went and ran over there earlier tin the morning and said was beautiful!

Jace checking out the ducks!

They really increased the Banzel last night and it made my sweet Jace turn into Mr. Cranky Pants! He was babbling something and I honestly think we could interpret it they would not have been nice words at all!
He continued to be cranky this morning so we went for a little walk around the hospital and when we finished that he went down for a nap (only reason I am updating right now).

We are waiting for my mom to get up here. JB and her are switching off again so JB can go to work this week. When she gets here JB and I am going to eat lunch and watch the game at Buffalo Wild Wings. We need to get out and it will be nice to spend some time with my sweets before I don't see him all week.

I must go check on my laundry - Thank God they have washing machines for the parent's clothes up here. Otherwise I am sure us parent's wouldn't be so welcome! LOL

Prayer for Healing

Father, You created Jace. You formed him. You knit his inward parts in the womb. You alone know how to make what is right in Jace's body. You alone know how to heal Jace. As his Creator, I pray that You would grant healing to Jace. Let Your power envelop him and bring the healing that is needed (Genesis 1:26; Psalm 139).

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Oh, and I Must Add

Dr. Slopis said we are NOT going home without this resolved!
I am so glad someone is taking this seriously!
Unlike his neurologist we had been seeing who has not once called or stopped by to check in on Jace. Her nurse has been here but that is not NEARLY the same as the actual doctor caring.



A Plan of Some Sorts

The incredible neurologist we met here, Dr. Slopis, is unfortunately not one we can transfer to. He works at MD Anderson with the pediatric cancer patients. He does rounds here only a few times a year. I believe it was a blessing to have had him as our neurologist during this hospital stay. God does cross our paths with others for reasons. He suggested we transfer to the epileptologist that has been reading Jace's EEGs. She is actually who his neurologist normally passes you off on to when the seizures prove hard to control. With Dr. Slopis' help and advice we are going to transfer to the epileptologist smoothly without having to deal with Jace's neurologist we were going to before. It breaks my heart that we can't use Dr. Slopis BUT I am very thankful we are not having to see him because of a cancerous brain tumor! The fact that he recommends the epileptologist weighs a lot and I hope he is right about her.

After speaking with Dr. Slopis, we feel like we understand the plan that the neuro team seems to have for Jace. We are currently on Banzel and have been increasing the dosage all week. Tonight we will increase it to the max amount that can be given for his age/size. We will see how he does over the rest of the weekend and then do another routine (20 min.) EEG on Monday. If they see no improvement on the EEG then we will try another medication, Vigabatrin. This is the medication that comes with the risk of peripheral vision loss (small chance over long term use). We want the EEG on Monday to show the brain settle back down and show only a focal area of activity. Past EEGs showed that the area of Jace's brain that has the tuber (left frontal lobe) had abnormal brain waves. The latest EEGs show the activity dispersing all over the brain, or what they call generalizing. We hoping at the very least for the Banzel, or the Vigabatrin should we have to go to that next drug, to suppress the whole brain from firing off and slow it down to see that there is indeed a focal point coming from the tuber. If this is the case then we would discuss the possibility of surgery. As scary as it can be, surgery may be the answer to becoming completely seizure free. If that route is taken, Jace would have to remain on medication for a period after surgery to be sure there are no more seizures and then eventually weaned off, never having to take them again! We were told that if surgery was the route we would have to take then it would not be a long drawn out months of anticipating. It would be something they would prepare him for within just weeks. The only issue the neurosurgeon would have with Jace could possibly be his size. Dr. Slopis thinks his size would be appropriate for the surgery. The anesthesia is the concern but with Jace being "wide", as he put it, is a good thing (that's a first LOL).

The neuro team is pretty positive about Jace's prognosis at this point. For a 36 hour period of time he was saying words he had stopped saying, he was waving bye bye correctly, and was just coming back to the Jace we lost slowly over time. They said the fact that he is doing this stuff that seemed to have been lost means that he hasn't actually "lost" it - its just not able to come out with his brain fritzing the way it has been. They said that it will take a few days of no seizure activity to really see him come around to being himself. I can't wait for that day!

Dr. Slopis also discussed with us about the two roads we may be traveling with Jace, either Infantile Spasms (IS) or Complex Partial Seizures (CPS). Complex means a change or alteration in consciousness and partial means that is coming from a partial area of the brain (or its focal). We would ultimately want the CPS road taken. At this point the IS road is not what we are traveling. The EEG would show hypsarrhythmias and right now it doesn't. Unfortunately, IS can start out as partial seizures but then progress to them. Normally they start out as IS and that is just what they are.  At this point we do not know what road Jace will take. Neurology is so unpredictable. I wish it was a simple diagnosis, straight forward treatment and an easy to determine prognosis. Having the unknown of how much Jace may have been affected or how he will be affected is the hardest part of this. He is so young and he can't tell us anything. The only way we know if he is in a seizure is by an EEG, besides the head drop episodes.

Starting at 3 am this morning he started with his episodes again - every 2-3 hours apart. Its so hard to see your baby going through this. The tears are the hardest part - he doesn't cry but gets tears in his eyes. He gets very agitated with each head drop, tears up, and is overall fed up with them. He even starts to pinch, grab and squeeze anything he can get his hands on....I have the bruises to prove it! And when he's not trying to pinch, grab or squeeze, he attempts to bite something......when I am holding him that just may be my shoulder - OUCH! He isn't doing any of this on purpose per se but out of frustration. The poor guy is really affected fully by his episodes.

Today has proven to be a bit difficult for me emotionally - I am doing a pretty good job at keeping it together so far. But, I think I am reaching my limit of holding it in and being strong. I can't break down and fall to pieces. I have to be 100% to advocate for Jace and make the right decisions or make sure the doctors are making the most appropriate decisions.
Besides the medical stuff, I have other stuff on my mind as well. What do I do about work? I can't just leave Jace at the hospital. What about the financial part of all this? So far this year we have reached the max out of pocket and that amount is a very large number. How much am I making life difficult for those helping us out? I can't just expect someone to care for our dog and home for extended periods of time when they have their own homes and lives. Then I worry about JB's feelings and trying to be there for him as well. I can't expect him to not have feelings about all of this. I hear his fears and they are legitimate and so I can't necessarily help him feel better about them. I can't make promises that Jace will be fine and go on to a regular school, play sports and not need any help. I can't promise that he won't either. Are people annoyed with the updates? I worry if I should even update the blog.....I don't want to come across as wanting attention. I want to be able to get the info to family out easily and most efficently. I do feel better after typing out what we have been told and I seem to understand it more once I get it out on "paper."  All this stuff crosses my mind and most of it is just ridiculous. I know this but its how I feel. Anyone in this situation would feel similar...I think.

On a positive note, Jace's "eye boogers" were better today. He didn't wake up with his eyes all crusted closed. I am praying that is the last we see of the crusty eyes.

I am hoping Jace naps a bit longer - I would love a short nap right now as well.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Still Think it's JUST Eye Boogers??

Guess what Jace woke up with? His eyes crusted shut! I dare the doctors to tell me they are just "eye boogers" again. I can tell the primary care doctors do not want to deal with me. They made their rounds early in the morning before Jace was awake and when I did mention the eye stuff to one of them she literally acted like she didn't hear me. I need to say something again - I am starting to lose fight in me, either from being tired or from really being more concerned about the seizures and getting his medication right. Can't wait for JB to get back up here and let him be the bad guy for a little bit.

So I snapped a quick picture of Jace acting like a monkey while changing rooms last night.
We were moving pretty quickly so the picture is blurry but you can see he is standing on his monitor and hanging on to the rails - like he was surfing! LOL



Jace was ALL smiles yesterday at dinner!
I LOVE this FACE - even when its covered in chocolate!


Today some co-workers came up to visit with us. They brought us lunch and visited for a while. Its nice to talk to someone else here besides nurses and doctors. Thank you Ranjita and Ida!

Since Jace slept in so well this morning (not like he had a choice since he partied all night long) I got to take my time showering. My mom brought my razor up here to me and boy was I thankful. I was starting to feel very....ummm.....European! LOL

Ok - on to the serious stuff now. Jace's last episode was yesterday at 12:40 pm until he had one this morning after playing in the playroom and then had another one after lunch. 3 hours apart exactly. Oh how I wish these would just be done and over with already.
The neuro team made their rounds and explained that the EEG yesterday still showed seizure activity. The only good news about this was the light induction test didn't cause Jace to have a seizure - its nice to know we don't have to look out and avoid strobe lights or poorly working florescent lights for the rest of his life.
The team was discussing what they wanted to try and the neuro who was in charge today (not the same as the one from earlier this week) said that Banzel is very new. Not much has been documented on it about toxicity. All I do know is that we are not going to push the limits when it comes to increasing his dose. I am only willing to go to an amount that seems reasonable for Jace's age and weight.

I am running on little sleep so I think I will end the post here and if I forgot anything I will update again later!

Going Crazy......

It's 1:30 am and Jace JUST finally fell asleep!! Why?

Anyone that has children know once they are overtired they are impossible to settle. I am now wired (only reason I am updating this late) from fighting with him to get him down and from being beyond annoyed that the nurses wanted to "play" (because he was so playful and alert). Grrr.....it took everything in me to not say something rude (they were such sweet ladies) and ask them to please do whatever it is that they need to do and let him get settled down. Changing rooms is enough distraction but to do it in the middle of the night is a whole other story.

We did not see the neuro team today after the EEG. JB said that Jace had one of his episodes right in the middle of the EEG - this is great since we wanted to see what was going on when he had an episode. The primary care team did stop by and tell us that the EEG didn't show any difference from Tuesday. However, the neuro team will be able to explain this better to us, hopefully tomorrow (or well today since technically it is Friday). The good news is Jace went from having 11 episodes a day to only 4 today!!!! His last episode was at lunch today. Since then we have only seen a few moments where he had the blank stare on his face that he normally gets before going into the head drops but they never progressed into the drops. It seems that we may be headed in the right direction but we shall see. He has had the tendency to have a good day followed by the next day being terrible. I believe prayers are being answered and we found THE medication he needs to battle these seizures. The the blessings begin to pour in. I believe prayer - especially specific prayer! I pray that Banzel works, and as Jace gets bigger it continues to do the job without having to increase his dose and never having another seizure with in the allotted time before we can wean him. I pray we wean him off the medication and the seizures, worries of delay, and any other scary issues are a thing of the past! Please pray these with me in the Lords name!

JB went home again tonight and switched off with my mom. He is going to work tomorrow but will be back up here if we are not discharged. I know Jace misses him. Jace is so tired of me and he is getting to that phase where Dada is who he wants. He was all about Mama for 12+ months - Its Dada's turn! :)

Speaking of JB - I have to give him the credit for being the original pushy parent and giving me the courage to be pushy as well. I have always been the type to trust the doctors and go with whatever it is they chose to do or try. I always thought that having a doctorate degree meant A LOT! Until recently I never fully understood the term "Practicing Medicine". Doctors practice - so much of the medical field has the potential to be very subjective. Knowing this helps me to realize that JB's pushiness and skepticism is valid. It has rubbed off on me - especially when doctors go against my motherly instinct. I could not compete in this fight without JB on my side. He has been invaluable in this journey. He calms me when I need to be calm and he lights a fire under me when I need to pick it up. Thank you My Sweets!

So, to clarify some things that were recently asked - we are at Children's Memorial Hermann (CMH), not Texas Children's. We were in Texas Children's Hospital (TCH) back in January before we had a neurologist that we regularly went to. His neurologist practices (there is that word again LOL) here at Children's Memorial Hermann. After being here at CMH - I have become slightly partial to all the UT MEd Students. You all know we are HUGE Texas fans! Not only are the Texas athletes good but so are the doctors! :)
The main differences of here vs TCH is how the hospital is set up. TCH has special floors for certain types of patients. All the specialties have their own floors - CMH does not. Scheduling for tests at TCH is a nightmare, even for the very young that get top priority - at CMH when you are scheduled you typically get the test done close to the scheduled time (especially if it requires the child to eat nothing before hand). The service in the cafe and such is MUCH friendlier at TCH than the cafe thats associated with CMH.


BIG sleepy sweet cheeks


Jace's favorite napping spot!


So far Jace's eyes have not become worse...they are still goopy but they are not bad yet. If I were at home I would not go to the dr yet for them. I may have used the drops I have at home since I already (still) have them from the last go around with this eye crud.

Well I think this is all I had to say - I am tired so its difficult to think straight. I am finally wound down enough to try to lay down for the night. I am curious to see how late Jace will sleep considering he has NEVER been up this late (I must say he was in a a great mood for being up so late).
Wonder if I will be able to get to sleepy without the Veggie Tales Silly Songs that are stuck in my head.
GOOD MORNING NIGHT!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Moving...

It's 11 pm and they want to move Jace to a less critical area. I only obliged because Jace once again won't sleep! This new nighttime burst of energy had better stay here at the hospital. Going to bed at midnight won't work at home - a schedule is crucial in our lifestyle.
So here I am packing up all the whole room to set up again. I just hope the room we are in is NOT a tiny room.

Hope to See More Improvement

JB and the nurse just took Jace down for his EEG this morning and I hope they see more improvement on it! We may not get a report on the EEG until WAY later this afternoon or tomorrow morning. While they are down there I am cleaning up the room some then showering but first I wanted to update while I had the chance to.

Jace did a little better with his episodes. He had 8 total yesterday and the last one last night was at 5:30pm. He didn't have another cluster until 6 am this morning (that we could see). However, he also slept much better once getting the Tylenol. With him waking up and falling back to sleep less often at night helps since transition in and out of sleep can cause seizures to fire up.  We thought they were lessening but Jace started with another episode at breakfast time, which was only a little over an hour and a half since the last episode. This time between his head drops he was shaky. This certainly new so we are going to keep an eye on that. What breaks my heart the most is when these episodes make his eye tear up.....this morning he had actual tears rolling down his cheeks. :(

We will get this all figured out. I have faith that we will!
We can use all the prayers possible! Share the story with your prayer circles please!

"Pray for one another so that you may be healed, the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." - James 5:16




I need to at least vent about this....as I am sitting here posting this I over hear the primary care team discussing Jace. Now these are the people that think Jace needs to go home but have to deal with neuro going over their head to keep him.
I notified the nurse last night that Jace was still having goopy eyes (this night nurse has been our night nurse since being here) and has seen the goop. She then notified the night doctor who came in and checked his eyes. His eyes were not nearly as bad as they are in the morning since we have recently cleaned them up and he had a shower. Anyway the nurse called the night doctor again about Jace's cough that was waking him up.
Anyhow - the primary care team was about to make their rounds to Jace when they realized that Jace was gone for his EEG. I over hear them discussing him and the night doctor said something about me being "something" (didn't catch what she said) then she said she was even called in twice - once for eye boogers and another time for cough. Grrr......I didn't ask for you to come I just wanted the nurse to note that we were dealing with this stuff and we needed to keep an eye on it. If his eye progress to the extent they did last hospital visit I will be tempted to say something. And Jace does have a cough which seems to really bother his throat. Just because he was not coughing and whining about it when you came in doesn't mean that it's "nothing". The poor baby is miserable at night.
I hate hearing how they talk about the patients and the parents. We know our children and your doctor degree couples with the 3 minute visit to the room doesn't make you know whats going on more than us parents.
Vent over....I am going to shower!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Finally Feel Heard

Jace had his Banzel dosage increased today so it was a day full of naps for this sleepy boy!
He took a 3 1/2 hour solid nap! 2 1/2 of that was on me :)

The neurology team finally made their rounds to see Jace and the attending neurologist is amazing! We only met briefly Monday when we were admitted and he seemed nice then. Today, instead of standing up and talking to me (as most doctors do to make it seem like they are rushed) he sat down next to me on the bench in the room and took all the time I needed to have my questions answered with full explanations.
We may have found a new neurologist for Jace! He is a sweet gentle man.

The primary care team and neurology team were in a battle of either discharging us ASAP to avoid Jace catching something or staying longer for monitoring. The neurology team won - which is fine since Jace has already caught something! The neurologist came in and told me exactly what I wanted to hear and that we were not going to be discharged until we see improvement either by less episodes or a cleaner EEG (we are scheduled to have another routine EEG tomorrow morning). I was astonished that this doctor was not trying to shuffle us out of here; he understood my concern of possibly going home and dealing with the same issue that basically put us in here.

Since the idea of Jace having infantile spasms (IS) or clustered drop seizures was not quite clear we discussed this. Basically, IS has a very distinct EEG pattern, which Jace does not have, however you can have IS without this distinct pattern on the EEG. With TSC there is such a broad spectrum and so goes the same with IS. Put the two together and almost anything could have a chance of happening.

The EEG Jace had back in August showed that the left side of his brain was having abnormal activity. Well the 20 minute routine EEG yesterday showed activity on both sides of the brain. The neuro explained that since Jace is so young and his brain is still developing then there is a greater chance for the activity to change areas like that. I also asked if the Keppra or any anti epileptic drug (AED) could cause one's EEG to worsen or change. He said that it may not cause that to happen it could certainly influence it. Since AEDs are made to suppress areas of the brain that are over firing then it can easily make the other areas of the brain begin to overact. Finding the right drug and dosage is where the delicate balance of that chance of occurring happens. Also, since the episodes have seemed to increase since switching meds he helped to explain a possible reason for it. Being admitted the Keppra was quit completely and Jace was loaded with Banzel. Since the Keppra was still slightly in his system and the Banzel was in his system but neither were at therapeutic level. Seeing an increase in episodes was kind of expected and once we get him on the right dose then we should see improvement. My next question for the neuro tomorrow is "what is this right dose he thinks we will need and how long until we reach that goal dose?"

I felt reassured when I was told that the episodes that Jace is having are not damaging his brain. It CAN cause him issues with learning if its not under control. He explained this to me like this: The brain is like a computer. The seizures that Jace is having is not causing the computer to crash, however it is like booting the computer off and on. When a computer boots up or down, during that time no data can be put in. With a child at Jace's age every second he is learning something. So the fact that he is having 1-3 minutes of these 1/2 second clusters means his computer is booting up and down too much.
I was so happy to have this explained in this matter that was easy to understand. Also, it showed even though he didn't believe that any damage was being done he still felt with the same urgency as I that we need these controlled before going home!

We also learned that even though we have seen only one tuber on Jace's brain MRI that there is still a chance there are more to be discovered. The tubers are in the white matter of the brain which is not developed for a while. By the age of 2-3 brain's white matter is 90% developed. It is not until the white matter is developed that you can see a clear contrast on an MRI of abnormal vs normal areas of the brain. The chance of Jace having more areas that have tubers is still there. Having tubers is not a big deal - the issue is when they cause the seizures. In this case, there are times when some people can not get the seizures under control and have to opt for surgery. They would simply resection the tuber (lesion as it would be called in the surgery world) and it would stop the seizures originating from that tuber forever! We have a LONG road a head of us before we would ever consider surgery but we do know its an option out there and its proven very successful in TSC.

I think I have hit all the topics that were discussed with the neuro team today. Tomorrow I should have answers to a few more questions JB and I have come up with.

On another note - the primary care team has proven to know what they are talking about. Jace has picked SOMETHING up. Its pretty inevitable in a hospital when you are young and everything goes to the mouth still. You would think that the hospital rooms, beds (especially cribs), highchairs, walls, etc would be thoroughly cleaned and disinfected, if not sterilized, but I don't think that's the case. Jace got this gooey eye stuff after the last hospital stay and he has started with the yellow gunk in his eyes again. He also has started with a cough. He is GREAT during the day...once its bed time he starts with this cough that wakes him up and then he moans because his throat hurts. I am assuming it is his throat since tonight he hardly ate dinner. Normally he gorges himself and then wants more! LOL He has a VERY healthy appetite! Tonight he hardly ate and I put it off as being a side effect of the Banzel. That was until he started with the same issues tonight as he had last night - waking up every 20 mins. coughing then crying with pain. Last night we gave him Tylenol to see if it was a headache - I was at a loss since its been FOREVER since he was that fussy - and the Tylenol worked like a charm. Well when all this started again tonight I was confused as to why, if it was a headache the night before, it would only happen at night. After hearing him cough then whine/cry it hit me and realizing that he hardly ate dinner that his throat must be sore. The nurse gave him Tylenol and so far so good.

JB came back up to the hospital. He switched off with my mom and she went back to the house for Lil Bit duties. I have to say that my mom is great - she drops anything and comes to help when we need it!
Thank you mom....and dad for letting us borrow her! :)

Please continue to let the prayers go up!
Our God is our Healer and I KNOW first hand of the miracles still occurring today!
Pray that the medication works (so efficiently that 2 years from now he can come off the medication and never take AEDs again!), for Jace to be protected from catching any nasty germs while here, for peace and clarity for JB and I, and well.....God knows what prayers we have.
We love all of you and thank you for being there for us!
I know I would be a wreck without my friends and family reminding me of the Faith I need to cling to and to let go of my control. I admit that through all of this I have not been able to "Let Go and Let God." I almost feel ashamed to say that since I know my Faith has always been strong - its amazing the fear of losing control that you have when bad things happen to your child! I have truly hit a trialing time in my life that I know in the long run will only strengthen my Faith. I just have to constantly remind myself or have y'all remind me of the promises that God has for us!

"Behold, I will bring it health and cure, and I will cure them, and will reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth." - Jeremiah 33:6 

Well since Jace seems to be getting some restful sleep I think its about time for myself to get sleep as well!
Good night!

Staying Longer

We are staying here longer - the neurologist that is caring over Jace thinks that we need to see improvement before being sent home. I will complete an update shortly after Jace has dinner and bath.

Clueless

I have come to the conclusion that the neurologist are almost as clueless about all that is happening as I am. They neurology team will be coming to the room to talk to us this afternoon sometime.
Yesterday when the neuro fellow was talking to me she mentioned that Jace's main neuro recently sent out the video I sent her asking the team what he ws doing. So - as I said they seems to be baffled as I am.

We were told the EEG showed normal activity however they did come by to clarify this morning that he in fact DID have abnormal activity. I won't go into details but rather then being focused on the left side it is now showing to be coming from both sides of the brain. My question about this - I hope to get an answer to - is if the Keppra could have caused the activity to go from being focal to generalized like this?

There is a battle between the primary care team and the neurology team. Primary care wants Jace discharged so he doesn't pick anything up while in the hospital (honestly its too late - his eyes are goopy and he has a cough) but the neurology team wants to monitor Jace more, especially since he has had an increase in his Banzel this morning.

Justin went home yesterday so he could work today and my mom came up here before dinner last night. Justin and I had a chance to get out and go get dinner together outside of the hospital. MUCH needed! Jace says "Thank you Grandma! I was kind of needing a break from Mom and Dad!" :)
If we have to stay another night Justin said he will be coming back here to the hospital to be with us and my mom will go back home to take over Lil Bit duties.


We got a chance to get out of the room and go to the 10th floor for Wiggle Wednesday! This is a music therapy gathering geared towards infants and toddler. Jace had an episode at the beginning of the fun but after that he seemed to enjoy himself despite being tired!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Better Clarification...I think?

We were not sent home just yet....the general pediatric team were ok with us being discharged but the neurologist felt it would be beneficial for us to stay another night since Jace is not completely back to himself after changing his medications. 

Jace being silly earlier today trying to sit on his toy

A neurology fellow came in and better explained the EEG findings - of the 23 hour and today's 20 minute.
We were not told much about the 23 hour EEG other than that he was constantly seizing, as I mentioned before. Also at yesterday morning's appointment, infantile spasms were only indirectly mentioned to us along with the suggestion of using medications that are classically used to treat infantile spasms. However, the fellow said she thinks he is having atonic seizures aka "drop" seizures.  

My concern about this is that I am not so sure that drop seizures occur in clusters, such as what Jace's episodes look like.  And, if he truly is having infantile spasms, which are pretty common in TSC, then we need to treat them very aggressively and quickly!

I will be discussing this with the neurology team tomorrow morning - I have already written down my concerns and questions.

The fellow also said that the Banzel will be increased slowly once we go home and then we should see the "drop seizures" decrease. So far they have only increased and are actually waking him up from sleep now as well.

As much as I appreciate the fellow being an extremely down to earth kind of doctor -  I worry she may be incorrect about this. I certainly do not want to go home to just have to turn right back around because his episodes have increased from the now 10-12 a day to 20+ or worse.

I will be back to update tomorrow.......Hopefully packing up to go home and with more peace of mind!

Trying....

I am trying to get the blog updated - however Jace seems to think he has had enough sleep or that sleep is overrated! It doesn't help that the poor patient (little boy) next store is screaming in fear - please say a little pray for this sweet boy that must be in pain next to us.
It breaks my heart! I wish these walls were not so thin. 

Home? Maybe. Answers? Not Really.

Apparently the 20 minute EEG came back with nothing significantly worrisome. While this is good new its also puzzling. Jace had an episode right as the EEG was starting - yet it didn't show up on the EEG as a seizure.

We are basically left with no real answers - just that the EEG is no longer showing constant seizing.
We continue to see him have these head drops clusters.

Grrrr......frustrating! I PRAY they have more info for us in a little while.

Waiting...

We are waiting to get Jace's follow up EEG done - this one will only be 20 minutes thankfully. So far the Banzel has not improved his seizures that we can see. I am sure what the doctors are hoping for is that the constant seizing - or status epilepticus is no longer occurring.

Last night was not easy. Jace woke up screaming in pain, which we figured out this morning was from constipation due to eating too much cheesy stuff for lunch. When he was not up with pain, he was woken up by seizures or having his vitals taken. The nurse was in and out of here non stop until about 3 am. After that we were all able to get some sleep uninterrupted.


Sleepy Baby Jace

Jace seems to be in an ok mood. He is not fussing so that is a plus. He is extremely laid back and tired. Certainly not his normal! Banzel has really kicked him in the rear and he naps a lot. Its not great but while being stuck in the hospital its not a bad deal.

Since the EEG will only be 20 minutes we should know the results pretty quickly. My gut feeling is that its not going to be enough improvement for them to ok us to leave, however I may be pleasantly surprised! And I pray I am!

For now we just snore....I mean wait! :)
I will update again after the EEG and we hear back some results!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Our Journey with Tuberous Sclerosis Complex

Growing up I knew I had Tuberous Sclerosis.....did I REALLY understand the depth of that? No.

Here is a link to the TSC Alliance website that explains what TSC is in general http://www.tsalliance.org/pages.aspx?content=2


I was never truly interested in finding out what this genetic disorder was all about until Jace was born and we found the big hypopigmentation on his butt (he will never get away with mooning anyone that's for sure!) and other small ones all over the rest of his body. He also had the classic Cafe Au Lait spots - these are darker and look like birthmarks.


Before our hospital stay in January there were a few times where Justin and I wondered if Jace was having a seizure - we just thought it was over stimulation or reflux related.



Jace had a few of these odd episodes, usually when I was nursing him or laid him down to change his diaper, where he would almost freeze up and then twist his upper body and arch his back. So we called his pediatrician and we were sent to the Texas Children's Hospital ER.


In the hospital they drew a genetic blood panel from Jace to test for Tuberous Sclerosis since I knew it was in my family they were convinced that was the issue. They also did a CT, MRI, Echo and an EEG. The CT and MRI both showed a tuber in the left frontal lobe of his brain. This may or may not be causing seizures. It was explained to me that you are usually born with the tubers and so your brain usually knows how to function around them and its the subependymal nodules (SEN) that cause more of the issues. The SENs can occur randomly in the early stages of life and even at time start growing where they turn into subependymal giant cell astrocytoma (SEGA) - basically a benign but growing brain tumor. This occurs in 10% of the TSC population. Thankfully in January Jace did not have SENs that they saw.


Getting the electrodes places for his one hour EEG


Deciding what to eat - actually what mommy should eat


(he was still nursing at the time)
Jace was started on a seizure medication, Trileptal, and we were sent home. Never really concerned since he was hitting all his milestones early and continued to develop right along with other babies his age.


Months later he started with the twisting episodes again so his neurologist increased his medication. This increase did not seem to help.
In the midst of getting this sorted out I found out about the Tuberous Sclerosis Clinic in Houston. I thought what a great opportunity to be treated by the best who knows more about this disorder than just the two paragraphs physicians read about in med school!


Once we switched to the neurologist in the TSC clinic we noticed that Jace was not only still dealing with this twisting episodes but now they were coupled with an odd head tilting movement that occurred randomly. We thought maybe it was reflux but video recorded it for the neurologist to see anyway.


When she saw the video they admitted Jace to the hospital right then and there. She was concerned they were drop seizures and we needed to control those before he gets older and they turn into full body drops. 26 inches from the floor isn't far but one day he will be 5 foot + from the floor. They not only looked at the neurological issues but then also the gastrointestinal. We had a 23 hour EEG, MRI, modified barium swallow and a 24 hour Ph Probe done.


After the hospital messed up and gave Jace a smaller dose of his Trileptal we realize it was the meds causing a lot of his issues so they switched to Keppra.


This started off great! Jace was once again laughing at us, playing pat-a-cake, and even signed "more" back to me for the first time!

All that was just a honeymoon.......and a very short one at that!

A week on Keppra and everything started downhill.
Jace began to have episodes where his eyes would roll up (but not like they were rolling into the back of his head) and his head would slightly drop forward. We called them eye rolls since it was more of his eyes deviating up rather than the head dropping.

I started to track his episodes and medication dosages on a GREAT website called https://www.seizuretracker.com/

It is complete free and it makes GREAT easy to read reports to take to the doctors or hospital to demonstrate the event timeline.

After increasing his Keppra to the correct dosage for his weight, plus some, he continued with these head drops. I bugged the neurologist multiple times a week about this and eventually as the head drops progressed I demanded another EEG. These were looking too much like infantile spasms to be easygoing with the treatment. I wanted to know if any seizures were showing up on his EEG or not since the past 2 came back with no seizures. He also never had an episode during these EEGs. Since they had increased to 3-7 a day I KNEW the next EEG would catch one! His neurologist sent in orders for another EEG and the hospital called me to schedule. They told me they did not have an opening until DECEMBER!! I was furious!! I told them that was not acceptable and we needed to be seen like YESTERDAY!! After that I started to search and inquire about other neurologist. It would be like starting from scratch but I wanted his doctor to have the same sense of urgency as I had. That urgency should have been enough to make the hospital realize that we HAD to be seen within a week and not within the next 3 months.

After a frivolous search for another doctor I called the hospital EMU (epilepsy monitoring unit) back and decided I would just attempt to go higher than just the scheduler. I was ready to demand from the supervisor to get us in ASAP. To my surprise the scheduler had mentioned to her supervisor already that she had just spoken to one mad momma and he decided to open up more beds. However, they never called me back to tell me this - I happened to find out by contacting them! Grrr....... So they had an opening for Oct. 2nd and we took that. I did call every morning to see if there were any cancellations. I got lucky and there was one on the 29th.

We went in on the 29th and did his 23 hour EEG where he had 6-7 episodes. FINALLY we caught them on the test! I was relieved because now we could get some answers - hopefully!

I was hoping we would have some sort of preliminary report before his neurology appointment on the 4th. I wanted to have answers so we could decide appropriately what to do from this point forward.


This morning we went to the TSC clinic for Jace's regular 3 month visit and for my first visit with the geneticist. Before we really got to see the geneticist the neurology team (interns and fellows) were asking questions while his neurologist was calling to get info on the EEG from the 29th. I was HOPING to hear that they did get a chance to read it and we would know something.
We mentioned to the team that he quit saying "Dada", he no longer waves bye bye anymore and his walking is very clumbsy. He also lost his personality - he hardly every truly smiles and laughing is a thing fo the past as well. Its very depressing to see your blooming baby boy lose all this so quickly.

Things turned sour here......His doctor came in with the rest of her team and told us that the EEG was not good. It showed that he was pretty much constantly seizing and even had times of his brain activity flat lining.


She went on to tell us that she has been telling us for weeks to bring Jace into the hospital - This was a BOLD FACED BIG FAT LIE! I was LIVID! That's like a complete low blow to our parenting. If a doctor told us, or even suggested, we should bring Jace into the hospital you better believe everything would be dropped RIGHT there and we would be there ASAP! I actually had felt that there was NO urgency on their part. After I called the neuro about the ridiculous scheduling fiasco but finally getting the EEG scheduled sooner, I got a call back (before I could tell them I got a sooner EEG appt) from her nurse who just said "What can I do for you?" in a very rude tone almost like I was bothering her.
His doctor continued on and said "well the past is the past, now lets just move on and go forward with getting this fixed" (in retrospect it almost seems like she was trying to cover her butt by saying or insisting that we didn't WANT to bring him to the hospital).
She discussed the two medications available that works very well on the seizures that his having. She never specifically said Infantile Spasms but later when the geneticist came in that is the terminology she used. Our options were either Banzel or Vigabatrin. This issue with vigabatrin is in long term use there is a small percentage that is can cause peripheral vision loss. We opted for Banzel due to the risk with the other medication. However, vigabatrin has been proven to be one of the "miracle" drugs for TSC and was approved by the FDA because the the TSC community fighting for it. I pray that the Banzel works, however, if it doesn't and we have to decide between mental retardation from the IS or loss of peripheral vision then we I am sure we will switch over to vigabatrin.
We were admitted to the hospital today to start Jace on a loading dose of Banzel and then from there they decrease is to his usual dose he would be on if this works for him. They plan to do another one hour EEG tomorrow to check and see how the Banzel is improving his brain activity - if at all. So far the Banzel has make him pretty tired and he has moments of extreme fussiness - nothing we can't deal with while he gets adjusted on the meds. He has still had episodes on this new medication but that is to be expected since any seizure medication has to be at a therapeutic level to be effective.
We recently had blood work done and some stuff came back abnormal as well so we are going to figure that out also tomorrow. We want Jace treated as a whole patient - no more treating symptoms! I want them to examine the underlying issues as well!
Justin and I are about to become THAT family - the one that pushes and pushes and the doctors dread dealing with because we are going to make them actually work!!
We appreciate all the concerns, thoughts and prays! Keep the prayers coming!!
WE NEED THEM!
I will try to continue to update as we get more information tomorrow morning.....I think I am finally getting sleepy enough to go to bed (I am sure only to be woken up by a nurse taking vitals!) Please excuse typos and such - not really proof reading and editing.